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Category: OVERTHINKING

  1. Choose not to wear the sh*t badge.

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    I can recall with frightening accuracy times in my life when people said things that left a massive dent in my confidence – like the times at High School when the cool girls would warn me against jumping in the pool at swimming lessons because I was so fat that all the water would come out, or the time one of my University tutors bluntly told me I couldn't draw. And there are many more times I could tell you about – and perhaps you too have clear memories of things that people said or did, possibly many, many years ago, that were less than flattering.

    And I bet, like me, you remember them like they were yesterday. And maybe like me, instead of just denting your confidence, they also become evidence to feed the self-doubt and the crippling overthinking. I look back now, and with my older, more confident head on, I don't have any anger for the people that said these things, but I am so bloody annoyed at myself for listening.

    what you allow quote

    Not only did I listen, I replayed these things time and time again. I wore them. I wore them like a badge. A really, really shit badge. I had so many fantastic badges to wear. Big, shiny, colourful badges, representing all the good things people said and all the amazing things about me. But I chose not to wear those ones. I hid them, lost them – was too timid to wear them. But the tiny, shit one – I chose to wear that one. And that is the brutal truth. I chose to wear it. Nobody made me.

    And that is my point – we can never control what is said or done to us. But we can control how we deal with it. I think it is so important that we all work hard to love who we are to the point that negative or hurtful experiences can be dealt with without lasting damage – and that we are so proudly wearing a vast collection of big, bright, shiny, badges that any rubbish ones soon get hidden and forgotten about. In fact, we need to build up that collection of big, bright, shiny badges so much that they become our suit of armour – a proud confidence in who and what we are that makes us more able to cope with the bad stuff, and in some circumstances, to give us the strength to fight back because we know we don't deserve it.

    maya angelou quote

    We need to give ourselves permission to love who we are and be proud of it – and we need to build up our children to do the same. Yes, we will always potentially come across times and events that challenge us but we have to make sure we don't give them more of our time, attention and belief than we do the positive and uplifting times. Replay the compliments, the successes and the things that deserve to be celebrated.

     Don't choose to wear the shit badge.

     

  2. 'Beyond The Crumpled Paper' - a small painting with a BIG message!

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    Because I was working on the big scenery project for most of January, it has taken until today for me to complete my first painting of 2018 – and it's only a small one, but what it represents is massive.

    2018 is the year that will see me silence all my niggles as I push my work, and my brand, in the direction of sharing my own journey of overcoming self doubt and a lifelong overthinking habit and hopefully inspiring and motivating others to do the same (I wrote more about this here). This is a scary shift for me – and this painting symbolises this moment!

    The painting was inspired by a social media post I have seen shared on many occasions – and one which I think holds a very effective and powerful message. The original post is below – and I apologise for not crediting its original author as I have no idea where it originated from.

     crumpledpaper

    Now, as I said, I love the lesson in this in terms of showing the lasting effect that bullying can have (and I also include many other things in this that life can throw at us along the way!) but I felt unhappy about the suggestion of the permanence of the creases – that if we suffer something that affects us emotionally we are bound by those effects for the rest of our lives; as if our victim status is inescapable.

    And this is where the painting comes in – and why it's called 'Beyond The Crumpled Paper'. I would hazard a guess that not many, if any, people make it into adulthood without some 'creases' in their paper and I think these define us in an incredibly powerful way. It is these creases which make us unique – the same as everyone else on a basic level (we all start off as a plain, flat, unblemished piece of paper) but we develop our own, beautiful, complicated and intricate pattern that makes us oh, so very different, to anyone else who has ever set foot on this planet. And that is amazing.

    This pattern of crumples tells a story of life – of difficult times overcome and challenges survived. Instead of them being a reminder of how we felt at these times, we should let them serve as a reminder that we came through those times and can now be brave and build exciting times ahead. And that is where I am now – working hard to accept all my crumples and creases (not just the ones on my face!) and move on stronger, not despite them but because of them. Life is about living beyond the crumpled paper, not trapped within it.

    crumpled1

     

    crumpled2

    crumpled3

    final crumpled paper